East to West

Here in a few days we begin the yearly task of preparing for Easter and the much anticipated Easter program. The purpose of the Easter program is to celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ and to introduce the message of what Christ did for us to those that may not know. The celebration choir begins early in the year learning new music through rehearsals and the drama team gathers to prepare to visually perfect their parts. Lights are positioned, sets are constructed and props are gathered and so much preparation goes into the actual event, we sometimes forget why we even do it in the first place.

This year the choir is preparing a program entitled "East to West, One Scarred Hand to Another" and man, it is going to be fun. New songs, old songs, songs that are familiar and some not. But what really is drawing me to this is the title song "East to West." I've heard this song a thousand times but never really listened to the words. Until now.

A few weeks ago, I received my local ministers license. This is the first step towards being an ordained minister in the Church of the Nazarene. You first get your local license and then work towards the District license and then to the ordination. The license was presented to me by my good friend/pastor/boss Brian Smith. As I was standing there accepting my license, I couldn't shake from my mind the magnitude of what was happening in my life. Satan it seemed, was reminding me of all the failures in my life, the sins, the short comings. To be honest, I was thinking that I can't do this! What was I getting myself into? Was I really good enough to be in the position of ministry?

Later that night, I confessed my feelings and thoughts to my wife Nikky and she responded like any good wife would. Assuring me that God wasn't concerned with my past but only my future. That God had forgiven me from those sins and failures and it was all forgotten. But it wasn't, at least not by me. I lay awake in bed that night, not being able to fall asleep, wondering about how my past would creep back into my life. The next morning, more of the same, I couldn't focus. My mind was a wreck. Then it happened. I heard that song, and this time I listened. That was me I thought. I knew what I had to do. I bowed my head and let God know that I was done focussing on the past and was going to allow Him to, one more time, lead me.

I wish I could say that Satan left me alone at this point, but he didn't and I'm alright with that. Because I know that I have Christ on my side as my protector and He is the one assuring me this time. "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" He says and I can rest in the arms of His mercy! I hope you are encouraged by my words today, and if somedays you feel the same way I did, read these words and rest assured that just as far as the east is from the west, His forgiveness stretches from one scarred hand to the other.

Here are those words from the Casting Crowns song, "East to West" (written by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms)

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me And it echoes in my mind Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sins as far As the East is from the West
And I stand before you now As though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again. In the arms of your mercy I find rest Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day the war begins Endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your Truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in. Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away From you leaving me this way

Jesus can you show me Just how far the East is from the West
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been Come rising up in me again. In the arms of your mercy I find rest Cause you know just how far the East is from the West From one scarred hand to the other.

I know you've washed me white Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel But by the truth your word reveals
I'm not holding on to you But your holding on to me Your holding on to me
(repeat chorus)